Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Vyvyan Edward Basterd's InsaneJournal:

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Tuesday, December 31st, 2019
11:59 pm	Disclaimers (out-of-character post) Having had a few misunderstandings with this whole characterisation thing, I, the nutter who is pretending to be Vyvyan Basterd for the purposes of this journal and (mostly) for the purposes of the Twitter account @fake_vyvyan, need to set some things straight. 1. I am not Adrian Edmondson. I can't play the mandolin, the guitar or the piano. I am not married to Jennifer Saunders. I've never done cocaine. I actually like The Young Ones. 2. My characterisation of @fake_vyvyan goes beyond the show. Why? Well, I realised one day that Vyvyan is actually an admirable character. I mean, how does a kid presumably from the slums, raised in a dysfunctional at best (more likely abusive) single-parent household, doesn't know who his father is, taken from his mum at 10 years of age, end up in university, let alone medical school? He must have more brains and ambition and depth than he lets on. The violence is part self-defence and partly an outlet for depression; the substance abuse is self-medicating for depression that comes out as anger; blah blah blah. He's in the middle of transforming from the tough slum kid to a professional and there's moments when he is angry and resentful that he didn't get the advantages or even the love other kids got from their parents. This is a large part of the reason why he has come to dislike Rick so much -- Rick has those advantages and doesn't appreciate them. 2a. On Twitter, @fake_vyvyan calls certain other users Mum and Dad. They "twadopted" him. They are real people. They are not my Mum and Dad. I'm not even related to them (at least in no meaningful way, who knows what a genealogical study would find). 2b. At the moment (12/12/09), @fake_vyvyan is romantically "involved" with another user. She's a real person. The relationship is not real, of course. 2c. Vyvyan needed a middle name and Edward is a nod to Eddie Hitler ("Bottom") and Eddie Catflap ("Filthy, Rich and Catflap"). Also, it flows nicely. 3. Why @fake_vyvyan hates Adrian Edmondson: Inspired by Act II of Bottom 2001, when Richie and Eddie discuss the actors playing them; Ade is referred to as "that ginger-haired cunt." I figure Vyvyan's feelings would be similarly negative and much more strongly expressed. 3a. Although @fake_vyvyan bashes Ade every chance he gets, I like Ade and his work. (Then again, I haven't met him.) 3b. This is done without permission, but does not violate any copyright (I believe) as it is parody/satire. In any event, I am not making money from it. 3b(1). I do not know if Adrian Edmondson is aware of this account, but I wouldn't be surprised. Ella Edmondson, one of his daughters, follows @fake_vyvyan on Twitter, and it's possible that she mentioned it to her Dad. Who knows? She's said nothing about the fact that some loony is pretending to be one of her father's characters. (The first time she said anything to @fake_vyvyan, she was explaining that she really had been a Satanist.) 3b(2). I do not know if Rik Mayall is aware of this account. Whatever publicity machine is behind the Noble England World Cup anthem contest to have a "feast" with Rik used to follow @fake_vyvyan, but quit after @fake_vyvyan said something critical about the way the the Mayall account was being handled. 4. I am not, repeat, not, going to reveal who I really am. That would ruin the whole thing. Suffice it to say I am not a 22-year-old redheaded medical student. Sorry!
Monday, April 4th, 2011
11:00 am	From Twitter 04-03-2011 00:03:48: @Rich_Gable madder than Qadafi. Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Friday, April 1st, 2011
11:00 am	From Twitter 03-31-2011 22:28:39: @NicolaeTheDevil some Yank. 22:29:11: @newmemberhere *whaps you across the head with it* Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 31st, 2011
11:00 am	From Twitter 03-30-2011 00:56:12: @SamuelKhan no thank you. Have you seen a girly sociology student named Rick? 00:57:08: @PembDave £500 and a years supply of Welsh tea for my mum. 00:57:27: @NicolaeTheDevil your money's fake! 01:00:58: 26 tweets to go. Who wants No. 14,000? First £1,000 gets it! #shamelessmoneygrubbing 01:01:40: RT @SimonSwears: Penis retard 07:38:12: @NicolaeTheDevil I'm a fourth-year medical student. Retard! 07:38:45: @Triptophobia sorry, li'l floret. 15:50:53: @NicolaeTheDevil who holds the record for the world's stickiest bogey? 21:00:53: @NicolaeTheDevil Toxtieth O'Grady! Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 30th, 2011
11:00 am	From Twitter 03-29-2011 14:08:39: 41 tweets to go. Who wants No. 14,000? First £1,000 gets it. #shamelessmoneygrubbing 20:44:37: RT “@mergyeugnau: Sorry, couldn't resist. RT @perpetualspiral: If all you do on Twitter is RT other people, #youmayaswellbeabot” #IAMNOTABOT Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 29th, 2011
11:00 am	From Twitter 03-28-2011 05:10:18: @NicolaeTheDevil no! 05:14:20: (note from management: Do I have to explain what role-playing is again?) 05:22:45: @Bessy_Bumblebee two arses kissing? Where do you hang out? and how does that work? 05:26:43: @LooseKD I don't know where to eat, A&E or where arse-Snogging happens. 05:31:06: @Bessy_Bumblebee how exclusive is it if ppl put their arses together to snog in it? 05:33:42: (is anyone else unclear about the concept? This is a ROLE-PLAYING ACCOUNT. TAKE NOTHING SAID HERE SERIOUSLY. be it insult or otherwise.) 05:37:32: @karinb_za ha! Someone who wasn't following me (I thought he was) and doesn't get the concept. 05:40:04: @FiserableMucker I saw that one. Thought it was about giving colonoscopies. #whoops 05:42:09: @karinb_za (yeah, well, he said he was having nightmares. Wouldn't have reacted at all if I knew he wasn't following etc.) 05:45:00: @karinb_za (I blame it on his lack of sleep. I read enough of his usual chatter to think that's at least 1/2 of why he's douchy now.) 05:45:52: @Triptophobia (evidently not. :/) 05:48:17: @karinb_za (he isn't a douche and has a decent sense of humor.) 05:50:33: (oh well. Lesson learned. Maybe. Back to irregularly unscheduled Vyvyaning. ) 05:51:08: @Bessy_Bumblebee am I to understand you do this? 05:52:23: @weirdralph had to work too hard to get that one, mate. 20:21:55: @NicolaeTheDevil come over and try it, devil dick! 23:30:05: @NicolaeTheDevil *headbutts* Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Monday, March 28th, 2011
11:00 am	From Twitter 03-27-2011 02:20:47: @NicolaeTheDevil and I'm lucifer. Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name. 02:22:06: @LuceKD 34:79 pm 02:25:33: ❒Single ❒Taken ✔ Snogging my hamster 20:06:33: @NicolaeTheDevil some Antichrist you are, lad! Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 27th, 2011
11:00 am	From Twitter 03-26-2011 14:29:19: @NicolaeTheDevil what's the difference? 16:18:07: @NicolaeTheDevil Nicolae the Devis is not the devil? 16:18:36: I met a girl in the Kebab &Calculator. 16:21:33: She said she was taking a graduate degree in fisheries. Her thesis was on the use of lures. I said "Oh, a master's in bait?" 16:21:47: I think she busted my jaw. Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 26th, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-25-2011 10:07:36: @NicolaeTheDevil the devil has smitten accent. Figures. Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 24th, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-23-2011 16:22:10: @NicolaeTheDevil you just sound like a twat. Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-22-2011 07:28:47: @MEGADOUCHE @williemcginest I wish you would! 07:29:24: @NicolaeTheDevil VIBA EL PRESIDENTE!!! Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-21-2011 13:46:58: RT @profanityswan: 16 years of visiting London & I've just realised you don't have to stick your arm out to hail the tube train ... Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Monday, March 21st, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-20-2011 11:05:52: @LuceKD happy Mother's day, mummy. 11:10:35: #100factsaboutme 1. I only recently learned how to count to 100. 2. I have 0.08% blood in my vodka. 38. I invented a cure for #twatism. 11:15:52: #100factsaboutme facts 3.-37. Cannot be divulged as they would incriminate me. 12:01:12: @LuceKD fine. Have a crappy day! . 15:34:46: @NicolaeTheDevil 101, 102, 103 , ... Fuck it. 16:47:13: @MEGADOUCHE @williemcginest Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 20th, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-19-2011 01:17:11: @Triptophobia aw. 11:49:21: I thought #supermoon was a fat person baring their arse. 17:01:16: @Rockin_Rich invite me along with you next time, Dad! 17:02:42: @MEGADOUCHE @williemcginest just don't talk to @megadouche. You WILL regret it. 17:03:20: @Triptophobia Mattmush? 17:11:11: @Triptophobia awesome. Don't get pregnant. 17:13:36: @Triptophobia still good advice. #askdrvyv 17:14:33: @LuceKD @kenarmstrong1 I miss all the good stuff 17:21:46: @Triptophobia it's scientifically proven that teen pregnancies have an eightfold increase of risk of resulting in me. #askdrvyv 23:22:10: @dzhimbo MR EXCITEMENT!!!!!! 23:24:50: @dzhimbo what's that mean? 23:25:10: @MEGADOUCHE @williemcginest you're only kilodouche. 23:26:46: @dzhimbo I'm studying like it matters. 23:27:56: @dzhimbo I'm in London, isn't that far enough? 23:28:17: RT @IAM_SHAKESPEARE: Showing an outward pity-yet you Pilates 23:29:23: @dzhimbo I started in Manchester. 23:31:42: @dzhimbo I want to go to Fukushima and hang out at the nuke plant. Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 19th, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-18-2011 19:40:39: @Bessy_Bumblebee I'm never sober. Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Friday, March 18th, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-17-2011 01:32:00: @Via_The_Void I'm taking another one now! 01:32:44: @karinb_za next time I post pictures. 01:33:20: @FaustianAlex IT WAS THE COLOUR OF HOT CHOCOLATE!!! #tweetyourshit 07:33:18: @FaustianAlex What? That's a fairly normal colour for shit. #tweetyourshit 07:34:36: In honour of #stpatricksday I want #tweetyourshit to be a trending topic let's get going! 07:36:34: All you have to do is append #tweetyourshit to any tweet. Here's an example. 07:37:31: My grandmother just got run over by a bus full of pensioners from Luton! #tweetyourshit 07:38:51: @karinb_za wher's the tag? #tweetyourshit 07:41:28: You don't have to be talking about your latest poo to use #tweetyourshit. Japan, Bahrain, Libya, Justin Bieber ... Anything. 07:42:47: @karinb_za thank you! #tweetyourshit #askdrvyv 20:15:51: @SamuelKhan thank you. 20:16:08: @FaustianAlex one would be surprised. Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 17th, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-16-2011 13:30:04: TAKING A MASSIVE SHIT! 22:17:07: Should I go to Japan now? #notagain Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 15th, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-14-2011 07:00:59: @BitterOldPunk sounds like medical school at my college. #upscumbag 19:04:05: @pcGeneHunt a quote for you: “@IAM_SHAKESPEARE: Have I not reason to look pale and dead?” 19:05:10: @Triptophobia for what, li'l floret? 19:53:10: @Triptophobia oh, well, break a leg. Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 12th, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-11-2011 05:11:50: @anib YES 05:12:33: @Cloister_Belle why didn't you? 05:16:44: @Cloister_Belle put crisps in his shoes Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)
Friday, March 11th, 2011
10:00 am	From Twitter 03-10-2011 02:58:53: RT @TwopTwips: TOILET bleach poured liberally all over your vegetable patch will safeguard against weeds (and vegetables) /via @MJCasterton 11:18:30: RT @Its_Death: I've had a hard day. ❒Single ❒Double ✔Charlie Sheen Tweets copied by twittinesis.com (Comment on this)